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Tuesday, January 21, 2020

wtf i am a triangle now (12 months)

would love to post before, after pics but im kind of anxious about that (nvm, yolo. found only one random before pic that does not really show anything, like i was not really taking shirtless pics before https://imgur.com/a/uGoopVL )

took a video of myself doing pull ups shirtless today and kind of realized that i am a triangle now

without really a lot of efford, really. i have now spent one year on a largely vegan, whole food plant based diet supplemented with protein shakes and bouldering 3 times a week (including a lot of post-workouts with pull ups etc). i love bouldering as it is just a lot of fun, and i dont have to force myself going to the gym as i just automatically go there when i am bored or looking for some fun. i went from your average skinny fat dude to a triangle.

the psychological aspects are also kinda crazy. its fucking weird, like if i look down onto myself i do still see and perceive myself as fat. like, yea i've been so for most of my life, and it will take some time to change that image. also, i have not found any more success with girls (being left by one was honestly one of the main impulses why i started caring about my body) or maybe even less than before.

but the upsided of this kind of living is amazing. like yo, i am rarely ever sick (i used to be sick every two months or so, now i have been sick once (!) in the past year), i can join into sporty activities without getting exhausted immediatley, and last time when i was at a party and i took my sweater off the girls went all " uhh " so that was also kinda nice. also things like.. i am used to hate locker rooms from sports classes at school because i frequently got comments about my weight. recently, one dude i know came up, touched by upper body and i was already mentally completley ready for humiliation, before he said something like " yo dude your fucking shaped, what happened ". like something inside of me still believes that its irony but yo

what a weird stage of my life, i am just struck by a constant anxiety of losing my gains and getting fat again, i guesss it will take some time to internalize my new habits.

but yea, life as a triangle is good. my mental health was never as good and stable as it is today and honestly, i am eveen enjoying eating much more than i used to as i am eating carefully prepared plant-based meals with plenty of spices, nuts and seeds instead of eating, e.g. toast with nutella for lunch. having like a " natural array " of flavors is super nice.

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